Simplification

Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify, simplify! ... Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.

Henry David Thoreau ("Where I Lived and What I Lived For" Walden)

I don't know about having any elevation of purpose, but I'm all for simplicity. There will be no new resolutions for the coming year, each increment it is the same, lose a few of those pounds, try to eat healthier, live less wastefully, less wantonly.

While deep in the midst of ribbons and bows and shreds of wrapping paper ends, the thought is overpowering, and overwhelming ... simplify. One special thing is worth a thousand meaningless items purchased out of obligation. A child's proud grin with their Christmas cookie creation beams brighter than any sparkling lights. Precious time is a far better gift than anything you can wrap.

So I place a bow on my moments with my children, my family, my friends. Simple as that. And cheap too.

Happy holidays blogger friends!

dc

The sky isn't falling...

At least it's not falling with acorns in the north east. Apparently following a bumper crop of the seeds littering lawns last year, the acorn population has diminished to scarcity. According to an article at CNN.com, the scientists say the trees likely exhausted their energy in the previous season and are taking a year off in production. Others are curious if it is the beginning of the Happening - a trickle down effect from the lack of bees. I'd like to think it is something completely different. (*queue X-files theme) A colony of hybrid monster squirrels. Maybe that's what the Montauk monster was? We need to send the investigators out to see if they can capture a glimpse of the creature. Or at least freak themselves out by the sound of trees rustling.

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Also in the news this morning, Sarah Palin's church was torched. I may not harbor my sentiments toward any particular organized religion or another, but arson is never an appropriate method of protest. They mentioned she called the pastor and apologized for putting them in a spotlight. Somehow I doubt it was a political-based maneuver though, likely some firebug that belongs in the psych ward who got off on seeing the national coverage.

I say we sick the hybrid monster squirrels on whoever ends up responsible.

I miss my channel 2

A black screen with a warning of "carrier not found" appeared last night on several channels on the top of the horn. Then, this morning I didn't get to watch the Thurmian morning newscaster on KTUU, (he looks like one of the aliens on Galaxy Quest, we've been waiting patiently for him to bust out with a "By Grapthar's Hammer, I will avenge you.") and if this keeps up will probably end up missing all my NBC thursday night programming.

Wondering if this has to do with whatever the cable guys were up to on the top of the mountain, but it is probably something else. If it was though, I guess their impatience to fix the problem and ignore storm warnings probably has something to do with people like me freaking because they can't get their daily installment of sitcom pleasure. Yes, my name is DC and I am a TVaholic.

I guess this is a good evening to plan on tackling a couple of chores I've been avoiding, and maybe try out the kid's new boardgames... and turn off that comforting flicker once and for all. But like a true addict, I'm still holding out for the hope that it will be back on when I get home, just in time for me to watch my current boss be personified by the character of Michael. And no, I'm not a Dwight if you were curious. I'm more of a Jim type I'd like to think... but nice like Pam.

Pole licking and road crossing

So it is A Christmas Story season yet again. One of the most fundamental of traditional holiday tv fare, (along with A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer). A Christmas Story is the only one that has ingrained such a valuable public service to my formative youth. Since I watched it early in life, I realized quickly that BB Guns *are* dangerous, watch out for falling icicles, Santa is evil, and most of all... never lick a frozen pole.

I'm wondering now, how many people actually have licked the pole out of curiosity? I was reminded that not everyone got the message when sis's little one actually tried it. Why? Because it just looked like it needed to be tasted. I think I will make this movie manditory this year, maybe prevent just one more from the mass removal of tastebuds.

This got me thinking about another common sense practice that it seems a portion of youngster's must not have been exposed to. Proper methods for crossing a busy street. There are too many times to count as all three schools are let out near the four way stop, kids just walk into the road expecting the car sees them and will stop. If the crossing guard isn't present, they'll just dash up from behind you and run across, and even though drivers are on high alert for pedestrians, there is still the potential for them getting missed in the middle of a blind spot and hit. Those are the kids taking the crosswalk... now the other problem set are the ones dashing across to go straight to the coffee shop. There really should be a crosswalk there. I saw a boy yesterday, barely on the sidewalk posed for a sprinters mark. The car on one side was nice, and yielded, the one on the opposite side didn't stop, and the kid had to stop in the turn lane.

I was always taught to cross the crosswalk every time, even if it is out of the way. But, who can blame them, I'd probably be dashing for the coffee shop after school too. Maybe instead we should build them a pedestrian crossing... or better yet, a habit-trail with a slide at the other end. Wait, remembering the pee smell of the ladder tube of the old Baranof park jungle gym, maybe tubes would be a bad idea. Or just accept the fact that the kids are going to be kids and dash across the street anywhere along the sidewalk, so we must be on extra vigilent watch.

Partly cloudy, with a chance of turkey

One of my most favorite books when I was younger was "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," a wonderful fantasy about a town whose meals fell from the sky like weather three times a day. The illustrations are some of the finest ink-work I've ever seen as well.

Driving towards town this afternoon a quote from the book was realized as the setting sun looked like a giant pat of butter melting into the mountain range... and I could almost smell the mashed potatoes. (I paraphrased that, tried googling the quote, but ended up just discovering that they are in production for a movie based on the book due out in 2009 or 10. Sweet.)

Of course it probably was mashed potatoes that I was smelling, and turkeys and roasts and hams and pumpkin pies, and weird green bean casseroles that for some reason somebody somewhere decided belonged on the turkey day table. Happy day of gluttony and mass consumption of quantities, I hope everyone has a safe and sated holiday!

Wear your ice cleats,
dc

Idiotic observation while watching an Einstein documentary

Something is wrong with me. Of course, I've let the cat out of the bag on that one, and most people have already gathered that, but sometimes I even amaze myself.

This documentary was awesome, talking about how Einstein's theories were in no way accepted in the scientific community well after the rest of the world's imagination was inspired. He was one of the original pop stars, and one of the first to be stalked by paparazzi. A brilliant thinker, he didn't even get the Nobel Prize for the Theory of Relativity after scientists finally accepted its proof. I was also reminded that he married his first cousin, who was his caretaker, and noticed for the first time that....

... Einstein had man boobs.

Why I noticed that of all things, I don't know. So in order to get the thought out of my head, and stop debating to the other me rattling between my ears whether excessive male breast tissue is a sign of intellect, or a product of it, I pass the thought on to you.

Moon rises and pizza pies.

Ish and I are on the same wavelength today, as far as spectacular moonrises go. The stunning orange orb has greeted me homebound the past few days, and it is hard to keep your eyes off of it and pay attention to the road. I appreciated his full-moon cloud erradication theory as well. It seems like eastern philosopy - if you can't see it, is it really there?

One thing I do notice on full moon nights is the amplification of spaz-like behavior in children. It takes the extra hour of convincing that one more page of homework certainly won't kill them. S.O. on the other hand... needless to say, the homework was done.

There is something special about winter in Kodiak and clear crisp nights when the stars are vivid against the backdrop of the universe. Craning my neck to the sky I still scan for the few constellations pointed out to me as a child, my favorites: Orion, and the Big Dipper. I remember laying out on the front lawn in snowsuits noting that the constellations moved, and Orion seemed to be chasing something, but what? It is no wonder Benny picked that particular constellation for the Alaska flag, it seems to jump out at you from any angle on the horizon of our northern nights. Now I'm getting all sentimental for winter and Thanksgiving, turkey
(Whatever happened to KVOK's Turkey Shoot? That was a fun contest to listen to. ) and Marshmallow Yam-tastic. MMM... Yams.

Speaking of food, I noticed the new pizza place up and running, the menu looks pretty tasty, but definitely not budget friendly - especially for delivery. $50 minimum order, manditory 15% gratuity, plus a manditory ten spot for the driver. I'm a generous tipper normally, but it kind of leaves a weird taste in my mouth when it is demanded. Not that I wouldn't pay it, or they don't deserve it necessarily, it is the principal of the thing. We'll probably be getting our family pizza night from Big Al's, or the freezer at Safeway anyway, and save the gourmet experience for an anniversary or birthday. I'm sure it is wonderful food.

And now my stomach is growling.

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?

What is it about celebrity that the stupidest comments amplify your infamy? Do the blonde realize they are blonde? (Not hair profiling, per se... blonde's come in all pigments). ** and on another aside, when did blonde become blond in the spellcheck or did I really miss a spelling rule somewhere, I'm sticking with blonde, uncapitalized, I don't care.**

I guess it is the intellectual's obligation to mock the bubbly cheerleader for asking you "what does illiterate mean?" Seemingly educated people seem to fall under the same trap, but not so much out of ignorance, out of delusional grandeur, where you manage to promote the lie so much it becomes your truth.

I suppose there is quite a bit of gray in the world though, some of it bluish, some of it brownish depending on your perception, so maybe it isn't all delusion, it is more a form of color blindness. A disability of sorts that renders you mindblind to another person's point of view.

Anyway, rambling again... the thought was generated after flipping past Ms. Palin on Greta Van Susteren last night, which I only really visited long enough to hear the comment about the blogosphere being "kids in pajamas sitting in the basement of their parents’ homes".

From the majority of bloggers I've stumbled upon, I gather most of them are Gen-X to post Gen-X'ers, the kiddos I know seem to stick to myspace trading back and forth mindless surveys and silly joke graphics. Yeah, I may blog in my pajamas from time to time, but you know what... my parents don't even have a basement.

It was a blonde comment if ever I heard one. So I nominate Sarah Palin for the title of Honororary Blonde. Thinking about it, at least she didn't claim to have invented the giant series of tubes called the Internet.

I have nothing profound to say.

Other than being caught up in work and the latest sickling pandemic rolling through the elementary gathering victims one by one to wander the cold and flu meds aisle, there is no reason for me to have escaped my blog tending responsibilities. But I slacked.

America did its job, and crossed racial boundaries where it counted... now we just sit and wait and watch people pull things a part just to put them back together in some chimeric fashion. Spins on spins, I actually feel badly for Sarah Palin with the media attacks the last couple of days. She may deserve some of it, but I don't think she had any real factor on the defeat of the republican party during the election.

Then with gas prices dropping along with the temperature, looks like maybe I'll be able to afford this winter after all!

Thanks all for the great blog reading. I may not comment often, but if you are obsessive over your stats, you'll see I've been reading!

Flavors of the world...

Stuck home with sicklings until a sitter willing to tend to my harbingers for disease appeared, I got to watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern for a bit this morning. He didn't get around to much eating of tarantulas or fermented fridge rot, and other than a fairly disturbing scene where there were helpers trying to squeeze him into leather pants for an olive oil basted wrestling match, it was a pretty sweet show.

He wandered Turkey, and who knew there was such thing as a whistling language for people to communicate across a gorge, a giant ant-farm of underground cities, and whirling dervishes who were once banned danced. Dreams of wandering the globe and experiencing these things have long been discarded, so it is nice when it is delivered vicariously via cable. Except for the food, some of it looks tasty, some of it... hmm, I don't think I'm as brave as Andrew Zimmern.

Reminded me that we do get actual tastes of global culture here in the form of performances at the auditorium. After passing the poster at the store, it seems there is a good one happening tonight. I checked them out on youtube: Baka Beyond. Although I prefer the African sound to the Celtic sound, looks like it will be a good show. Makes me wonder if someone is cooking up some traditional Camaroon foods to round off the experience. Probably not, but that would be a plus.

So I guess if the polls allow escapement before 7, head over to the high school auditorium tonight to become culturally enhanced. What do Forest Pygmy's eat anyway?

Feelin' Halloweenie?

Alright, I'm done bah humbugging, for those thinking I was being a downer about all Hallows Eve. Kidlings are strutting their costumed selves proudly at school right now, getting hopped up on cupcakes and juice. We're prepping to wander downtown and catch a glimpse of some more Kodiak creativity after 3:30, then they'll be romping up and down the streets collecting candy for me. (There better be plenty of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or else).

Been entertained already today with an array of Presidential candidates, I met Obama, Hillary Clinton, and someone who looked like Gerald Ford. (I think he was supposed to be McCain though.) The kiddos seemed festive with a horde of Star Wars Clones, and a bunch of Hannah Montana clones. There were some awesome hand-made costumes parading too. Later, I'll be dressed as Darth Maul, which might give me away, but I'm guessing there are a couple other people in that outfit as well.

So happy Halloween, and Dia De Los Muerto (tomorrow & Sunday)! Hopefully everybody stays safe, no one eggs my car this year, and the bears stay nestled in their dens for the dark evening. I wonder if they are looking forward to Daylight Savings Time too?

Prognostications for Media-hypage

We still have until Tuesday before the media men drift into complete mayhem, flashes of it have been appearing here and there, but I'm getting the feeling the brunt of it is going to occur Tuesday night and follow through January. Oh, and it is going to get crazy. Journalists must just live for events like this, unless you are Geraldo Rivera, and you live to... well, huh, does he even qualify as a journalist?

The race being nowhere close to landslide in either direction according to whatever one thousand people the pollsters have queried, I'm guessing there is going to be repeat of "Recount 2000 - The Hanging Chad" albeit an electronic version. Conspiracy theories are already swirling the mainstream about voter fraud, touchscreen screens requiring mid-vote recalibration to keep them from flipping your entire ticket, dead people casting ballots from their graves, and goldfish receiving voter registration cards.

It has been eight years, wasn't there a big hoopla about getting the election system to have an actual 'system' and accountability for it? Maybe as usual I wasn't paying attention.

I think American Idol has shown the truth in voting. Which means I'm not so sure that any given group of Americans *can* pick the overall most qualified person. (At least within the group of people who would vote for American Idol, who probably won't vote in the election because you can't text it to Ryan Seacrest.) It all comes down to the popular vote, which will vary depending on what genre of music you get your groove on to. How many people have won and tanked on the charts, versus runner ups being the true stars? And then there are years where no one of significance is voted to the top, so you are stuck with choosing between a Douche-bag and a **it Sandwich for a mascot (South Park).

Ah well, I'll sit back and hope for the best I guess... and hope that people vote absentee so they have a paper ballot if in a city that has those tweaky voter machines.

Misanthropic philanthrophy

That's my oxymoron for the day. After reading Kodiak Perspective's plug for the new library, and the ongoing conversations about a new high school, new borough offices, and new police and fire stations, I'm thinking we need one very rich philanthropist.

There is no denying each facility is in dire need of Extreme Makeover Public Building Edition, but without managing to vie Ty Pennington's attention away from disadvantaged families who actually need that help, who is going to want to pay for any of it? Certainly not the taxpayer watching their 401-k's fly all over the place, certainly not the average everyday homeowner who has to gouge their flesh to afford heating fuel. So, where are the old money wealthy misanthropes who donate wings of universities just to have their family name carved over the doorway when you need them, or is that just a urban legend that only appears on TV?

Maybe we need to be more innovative on where the money comes from. Yeah, let's get Bill Gates to build a new library, just so I can play with one of those giant screen touch computers like they had on SNL Weekend Update last night.

Lets get the Pitt-Jolie clan up here to green us up. Use star-power to qualify us for one of the goverment's extra special Green Building grants.

Put that annoying question mark man to work getting us every single government grant that is available, even if we have to implement Mimes 101 as a credited course.

Back in the really real world, the likelihood of any celebrity or gazillionaire taking even a notion of interest in us is faint. Comparatively, we aren't as bad off as thousands of other small communities sprinkled across the states. I could see how fund driving to get a brick or a tile engraved with your name on it installed in the new High School could generate some voluntary funds. (There are quite a few alumni out there to hit up). But without big money, or big debt, I don't see anything happening in the near future.

I'm still crossing my fingers the Gates option though, maybe we should carve his name on the backside of Pillar so when he zooms in using the spiffy Google Earth tool he'll see it and be impressed.

The end is here.

Looks from that white stuff that coated my lawn this morning our Springsummerfall has finally taken the last step into our second season of Alternating Frozen Slushdom. Somewhat a relief, as things are easier to accept when you are in the midst of them, while the anticipation preceding irrepressibly lingers.

I wandered my chilled bones out to the shed this morning to ready my path-carving acoutriments, and lo-and-behold, someone has absconded my snow shovel. Granted the thief is likely under four feet tall, and its whereabouts are probably in the proximity of the neighborhood tree fort... snow shovel shopping just adds one more thing to my capped to-do list.

If I hadn't sold our antique four-wheeler a few years back, I think I would have invested some funds in the snow-plow attachment. It would be nice to pull a good Tim Taylor man-roar and put some decent hps behind the chore. Everything is better when you get to whip brodies in your front lawn eh?

Also nearing is the end of political season, thank dog. The daily countdown is brinking on single digits, and although my interest had waned in the preceding month or so due to overload - I suppose I'll flip more slowly past CNN for a bit to watch the finale unfold. (Not that Jon Stewart hasn't enlighted me on anything of importance.) I am having a hard time figuring out why the heck this "Joe the Plumber" guy is getting such an emphatic 15 minutes. Does anyone have an answer for that? I realize that just by mentioning it I've extended it a few more moments. Possibly I should have abbreviated that thought, and given Vapid Paris a plug instead.

Back to the mundane grind, makes me wish I was still in elementary sitting back watching cartoons in my jams on these extra days off. I could a use good Mystery Machine Marathon about now... "and I could have gotten away with it if it weren't for those darn kids."

Tomorrow's Alaska Day, good thing I had the day off anyway.

Yet another holiday that I'm not sure of what spurred it on. Good thing for Wikipedia, or I would completely be shaming my Alaska history teacher (I think it was Mrs. Selby). I may not remember these facts, but I'm a heck of a Googler. I always thought Alaska Day was commemorating when we finally became a state, regardless of the shipping companies' ideas that we *are* still a foreign country. But no, it was when we officially became a territory, Seward's Day marks the day the deal was struck with Russia. Big goings on in Sitka, parades and flag raising, be a good time to visit there... like Crab Fest with fewer people you recognize, but surprisingly more that you do.

Alaska Day is a legal holiday in the U.S. state of Alaska, observed on October 18. It is the anniversary of the formal transfer of the Territory of Alaska from Russia to the United States which took place at a flag-raising ceremony at Fort Sitka on October 18, 1867.

Alaska Day is legally observed statewide, and is a paid holiday for State of Alaska employees. The official celebration is held in Sitka, where schools release students early, many businesses close for the day, and events such as a parade and reenactment of the flag raising are held.

It should not be confused with Seward's Day, the last Monday in March which marks the signing of the treaty for the Alaska Purchase in which the U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia on March 30, 1867.

Although the territory was sold to the U.S. in March, it was not until the 18th of October that year that the Commissioners arrived in Sitka and the formal transfer was arranged. The original ceremony included 250 uniformed U.S. soldiers, who marched to the Governor's house in Sitka at "Castle Hill", where the transfer was made. It was here that the Russian troops lowered the Russian flag and the U.S. flag was raised.

The official account of the affair as presented by General Lovell Rousseau to Secretary of State William H. Seward continues: "... The troops being promptly formed, were, at precisely half past three o'clock, brought to a 'present arms', the signal given to the Ossipee... which was to fire the salute, and the ceremony was begun by lowering the Russian flag... The United States flag... was properly attached and began its ascent, hoisted by my private secretary [and son], George Lovell Rousseau, and again salutes were fired as before, the Russian water battery leading off. The flag was so hoisted that in the instant it reached its place the report of the big gun of the Ossipee reverberated from the mountains around... Captain Pestchouroff stepped up to me and said, 'General Rousseau, by authority from his Majesty the Emperor of Russia, I transfer to the United States the Territory of Alaska' and in a few words I acknowledged the acceptance of the transfer, and the ceremony was at an end."

(From Wikipedia.)

Off in fantasy land, I wonder what it would be like here if it was still Russia. Somehow I doubt my family would have immigrated north had that been the case. (Would have had to actually get passports... yeah, so much for witness protection.) Even better curiosity would be if Shelikof and his men never wandered this way in the first place, would Alaska be a completely native country?

At least Alaska Day makes more sense than Columbus Day, a day to honor a conqueror and enslaver of innocent tribes. I've got to say, the level of human corruption these days isn't a drop in the barrel to some of the acts that have been cannonized throughout history.

Kodiak faces invade my channel surfing

I missed the actual commercial, but in my tradition of hopping channels at a rate that usually gets be banned from control of the remote, someone caught my eye. An interesting lady with a decorated pill-box style hat that looked awful familiar... I thought to myself, "wow, she has a double?" and flipped back a few stations. By then Petal is closing out the segment. No double, just our local flavor slathering themselves in Vaseline.

Never will I get used to Kodiakans appearing on any channel but public access. It doesn't matter if it is Deadliest Catcher's or that Minivan commercial the Sandin family appeared in. It still feels weird, like when a window becomes a mirror, and instead of looking out, you're looking at a self you don't quite recognize.

It has been happening incrementally more these days too. One benefit is the silly credit card companies are starting to realize AK stands for Alaska, not Arkansas.

I need help! What would be the completed list of Kodiak filmings that have gone cable? I can only think of a few right now in no certain order, and of course without real titles because my memory isn't that great.

1. Asians in Alaska with Pat Morita
2. National Geographic - Bears (been a few of those, I've blurred together)
3. Kodiak Crab Festival (Food Network)
4. Deadliest Catch
5. Cops (Before TC was chief)
6. The aforementioned Sandin Minivan commercial
7. Russian/American history with Lydia Black

Okay someone finish for me.

Nilapalin - repost, with comment

From Ish: This automated Sarah Barracuda interview response generator will sate even the hungriest of needs.

I asked about the economy... and found a new term for the 'Cuda's public speaking method: It's a Palindrone! Characterized as circular talk, where backwards or forwards it doesn't make a lick of sense youbetcha.

Q: How will you fix the economy?

A: Our economy and putting it back on the table. I think that I just gave you. But, again, we've got to get people to understand what he's been talking about the healthcare reform that we've got to make sure that these weapons of mass destruction, that nuclear weapons are not given to those hands of Ahmadinejad, not that he would use them, but that he would allow terrorists to be allowed in their country and their allies, including us, all of our nation, especially with homeowners. It's just right over the border. It is that we send those out to make sure that those abuses stop.

Scientific observations of the northern female biped

As the first flakes of winter drop down upon us, and we watch climatic temperatures drop below zero degrees centigrade, this curious scientist finds an interesting hidden behavior displayed in certain sub-species of the Northern Female Biped.

Discovered some time ago, the theorem in place it has finally come to fruition in my hypothesis that ceremonial garb called "pant-suits" have alternate usage.

We come upon the unwitting female midsummer, fashioned in cotton clothing with legs that have been hemmed to variant heights. She bares her leg flesh in the sunlight, as a form of camouflage from heckling predators. A female un-sunned receives taunting from males and females alike in the form of statements such as "ahh, you blinded me!" or "I think I need some sun glasses, your legs are glowing".

Finally by summer's end, leg skin at a flattering, non-flourescent level... a certain branch of the species enters into a metamorphasis growing their winter coat. Their ceremonial garb is exchanged for denim fabric, flannel lined khakis, and the obligatory 'pant-suit'. It has been noticed this sub-species is within the collection that have a consistant male in proximity. Single or hunting females seem to not require as much insulation.

At first glance the observation of extra clothing was passed off as a neccesity for maintaining core body temperature, however, it has a dual purpose as a coverup for ritual grooming practices belayed during the winter months. The surprising detail: a sub-species of Northern Female Biped does not follow the tribal rules, and they allow their legs to keep fur for the arctic chill.

There are some deviances from this behavior, the fur is removed for special occasions where a thin sheer fabric made of sythetic fibre is required to be awkwardly slithered into like a skinglaze. Visits to indoor group watering holes where most clothing is removed also require bare skin.

Should the Northern Male Biped wander into his personal waterhole and find it drained with a layer of black dark gritty substance upon a non-special occasion, this denotes red-bottomosity- much like the red bottom of the female baboon, flashing to show it's readiness to mate. (Curious to note, the Northern Male Biped has a similar mating ritual that involves standing under hot water and lathering a mass of soap upon himself).

With this theorum of non-shavence being proven upon the observed selection, one can draw the conclusion that it is not an isolated behavior. Brings me to the next question, how many pant-suit wearing Northern Female Bipeds choose their apparel by grooming or lack thereof; and is this why Sarah Palin chooses that attire on any given day?

That is part of being a scientist, answering questions... to discover more questions. Tune into the next segment regarding Northern Male Bipeds within winter seasons. It should be an enlightening adventure.

Now I'm blogging in my sleep.

I dreamed that I blogged about a dream where Obama ditched his VP for Palin because Biden wasn't "do-able". My unconscious is even weirder than I am. Now that I've actualized the blogging part of that dream, I realize the lesson in that is don't fall asleep with the TV tuned to CNN.

I was halfway afraid I'd sleep-blogged, anybody ever done that before?

How the heck did it get to be October?

With the Wal-Mart seasonal shelves stashed with all sorts of interesting animatrons with light sensors and buttons that just beg to be triggered, I always feel the initial impending doom of autumn. I then am somewhat comforted by the fact that there still is time - because they show up the day after last-minute school shopping. (It must be hell for the employees having to listen to the moans and groans and screams all day.)

About midway through the month, besides my baseline aversion to candy corn, I'm already over the halloween hoopla, having to wander down that aisle each visit and listen to my beloved Eye-Wants tag everything like some bizzare-ly choreographed industrial music. It would make a good horror movie soundtrack, I'm sure - scares me just thinking S.O. might actually buy something. The way the Eye-Wants are with the fun of repetitive noises, the batteries would somehow just mysteriously "die", while they were sleeping, and "I just don't know why that keeps happening." (I have a secret noisy toy silencing kit, shhh.)

So now it really is October, an eyeblink away from snow and frozen windshields. I really wish I'd invested in an autostart button on my ride... that way I can sit in the toasty alcove sipping coffee and watching the defrost take all of the work out of chipping a small driving window out of the glaze. Oh well, back to bulky jackets and windbit ears... slushy feet and stinging sleet. If Wal-Mart can start worring us about things so early, I might as well give in too.

first frosts and now no slalom?

I started this post a couple of days ago and got distracted. Life is hectic as usual in the Devil'sClub den, weatherproofing, doing the final mow, and basking in the wonderful heat of the new Toyotomi. Good thing too, even if it is raining today, the nights are starting to get a bit of a bite to them, and my bones aren't as young as they used to be.

Mill Bay is coming along nicely, as long as you don't get caught in the half-hour wait behind the pavers in the evening. Even though I'm digging the smooth ride, I kind of miss the excitement of the traffic blockade slalom they had going on for the past couple of weeks. It definitely spiced up the drive.

On the economic front, I really enjoyed Ish's Birk Plan post. I think that is the best solution for the crisis I've heard yet! Although, if you watched that A&E program that showed what happened to people after they won the lottery, maybe it wouldn't be such a good economic boost except for in the weird expensive knick-knack market. I think I could go a lifetime before seeing another burst of the diamond encrusted grill fad hit.

(Oh and btw, that's Bob B.'s abode.)

change and a political hangover

I've been watching too much television, and have been hearing that word a lot lately—and those are some powerful six letters. What other can invoke such an array of notion and emotion? To merely mention 'change' within any given crowd it sparks a thesaurus of replies, both negative and positive within whatever variable context.

It's anticipation is fear, anxiety, trepidation, admitting defeat, and downright panic for some, and hope, optimism, metamorphosis, innovation and peace of mind for others. The word is too much conceptually to wrap my mere 10% or less around to be honest.

Change is the only certainty in nature, and within intelligent thought—even if we want it and fight it simultaneously. Questions without answers are all I can collect: Why is it wrong for someone who's learned the truth to switch opinions on an issue? What is so bad about becoming more tolerant to something that was previously so foreign? Why does our society breed egos that can't admit they were wrong?

And this is where my brain starts to overheat, and I grab the beloved scepter of power and switch the channel. Meaningless entertainment, bizarre cartoons, and stupid people doing stupid things seems to counteract the overwhelming seriousness. I keep having to remind myself moderation is key. A quote by Aristotle comes to mind: "It is better to rise from life as from a banquet -- neither thirsty nor drunken."

Come to think of it, maybe that's what it is! A political hangover. Anyone know the morning after remedy for that?

Arrgh, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day

Methinks my maties and eye will sail Mill Bay, weavin pirate style.

A blog about nothing.

First, I really don't get it. I appreciate all that is Seinfeld, and am surprised at how well the Gatester is doing with his acting and dancing skills, but, huh? I do have to admit that this one makes slighter more sense than a computer that is chewy like cake. Would this be classified as Anti-advertising, or do you think they put a bunch of subliminal messages within the frames that brainwashes you with "leave the Apple alone... Appple is bad... Vista is gooood."? Oooh, I should try playing it in reverse.

***

B. I have new phrases I want the world to retire, along with doing anything "outside of the box", and "pushing the envelope." "Breaking the Glass Ceiling" or "Shattered the Glass Ceiling" or "Busted the glass ceiling to smithereens" all derivatives of this Willy Wonka reference, just needs to go away. Either that or is there a method of programming a v-chip to bleep user selective language? Now that would be useful. I would never have to hear anything about Britney Spears ever again, because that would be next on my list. I don't need to hear about broccoli spears, or Aries Spears, or Roman shields and spears, ever again, so I think I could live without it.

***

And lastly: Everybody wants Sarah Palin's glasses.

Oh yeah, I forgot, Mr. Ish is now published in Trend Hunter Magazine. #2 pic, not bad.

Lipstick on Education

Overheard so don't lambaste me: "Why are they so upset over the 'lipstick on a pig' comment, didn't Sarah Palin already announce in her first speech that she was a dog if she wasn't wearing any? Maybe I heard that wrong."

I don't pretend to know anything about the No Child Left Behind act, or the state of education on the whole—I only have my perspective. Kodiak schools have always been wonderful for me, filled with a diversity of cultures, dedicated and caring teachers, administrators and staff. Even with the cinching of the budget belt, somehow we managed to keep programs that other schools have deemed frivolous. The arts, sciences, maths, and technology are rounded off by a healthy dose of athletics. We have even been given a top award for a school where a good portion of the students do not have English as their primary language.

It isn't all roses, of course, there are always classes and programs to lobby for, buildings in need of repair, special circumstances that need to be met, funding that is expected turned into the need for fund-raising, and children who need more effort to educate than ever before. All in all, I suppose we should count our blessings as far as schooling goes.

I've just read both candidate's statements on education. Obama | McCain. They both have some good things to say, but I wish you could pick and choose à la carte from both for the final policy. Once again, I'm leaning more toward the Obama camp, if not for the better dialogue, for the link that asks to Present your Ideas.

My ideas. Now, that is a thought provoking concept. My idea is that it isn't going to matter much for changes coming from within the education system as it is right now. Pay the teachers more, try and force math concepts on children who don't have the attention spans to follow logic ... wonderful ideas, and they need to be implemented, but to use that horrid cliché once again, lipstick. It isn't going to change the outcome of our children, the people that need to be held accountable with the ultimate responsibility are us, parents.

I've seen enough 'Nanny 911' and firsthand examples to realize, that as a generation, we really miss the mark on parenting skills and passing on virtues such as general morality and empathy. A lot of our children are disrespectful, wasteful, and greedy. I know most people would balk at the idea of mandatory parenting classes, but Keanu Reeve's character in 'Parenthood' had a good point "...you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

Ideas regarding parenting, although I don't agree with myself that any of them actually should be implemented:
1) Require newly expectant parents to complete a responsible parenting class, not just newborn care.
2) Offer and encourage in-home services to teach positive parenting and effective discipline to anyone who asks, not just limited to those reported to child welfare, or want to be on reality TV.
3) Add Parenting 101 to the high school manditory curriculum and accent sex ed with a 'Baby Borrowers' boot camp.
4) Teach parents how to teach their children.
5) Become accountable as parents, do our part in helping our children develop a love for learning, consideration for others, and promote creativity and curiosity and the ability to teach themselves.

As for education within the school system:
1) Add requirements in elementary for nutrition, menu planning, budgeting and culinary skills.
2) Drop standardized testing / develop more individualized benchmarking.
3) Require personal finance / money management in middle school and high school.
4) Emphasize physical education as requirements, not electives.
5) Offer additional language classes in elementary (when second languages are more easily absorbed).
6) Teach tools to deal with a society obsessed with distraction and overindulgence, and teach children to find merit in responsibility, develop focus and counteract attention issues.

I could probably brainstorm more idealistic twaddle, but I'm having difficulty counteracting my own A.D.D., and apparently socialist tendencies. Who would have thought an apathetic anarchist punk like me could get that way?

Note to self: Avoid Mill Bay!

Can you say a road sticks out like a sore thumb? What would the proper terminology be for someone who repeatedly takes the wrong route? Me, myself, the moron. I have been caught by the flagpatrons one hour out of my day, all because of my own incapability to turn off the autopilot in my head.

All I can say, is I am sooo over road construction. I was thinking their latest effort was pointless and they should have been able to hold out for another year, until driving over the trimmed edge and realizing the ruts were almost to the subsurface. Isn't there a better pavement material that doesn't have to be torn up every other season?

And one last question... can you tell I'm not used to waiting in traffic?

white noise

The humming and hissing and crackling of a shifted station, whether jostled from its position by a loose dial or lumbering steps of the person pacing in it's proximity, is inescapable. No one reaches up to finesse the tuning. They seem complacent in listening to static, a comfortable nothing that refuses to erase the most serious of thought with glib commonplace chatter.

I step outside, and am surrounded with the white noise of wheels casting the morning shower's splatters mournfully turn by turn. Autumn's grey skies promise no end in sight, and the blades of the first frost are gleefully bidding farewell to our summer sun.

A maudlin Monday. The power to re-wind and re-play happening only within the imagination's fancy, where we can bear the static just to hear the same song again.

SpEd parents and candidates

While sipping coffee and reading the 'news' of the day, a comment on Ish's blog caught my attention. It was an accusation that small bloggers thrust in to the VP hit spike "just dribble it away". The KoKon isn't small per se, but this blog is, and after checking my statcounter and realizing how much of a random jump I got from mentioning S.P.'s glasses - I suppose he has a point. A small one. To be honest, I didn't ask or care for limelight - but was humored by the absurdity of the internet feeding frenzy. I'd bet I could garner more intentionally pandered hits by tagging the post with random statements for free porn. So, rather than 'dribbling away' a post on nonsense... I'll tackle an important subject.

I was curious if Sarah Palin's statement during her speech where she said "with her in office there would an advocate for special needs children within the White House," intrigued parents dealing with those issues. I was a bit surprised in the answers I received.

I have three classmates (that I know of), a roommate from college, and my own little sister who are raising children with Autism. I would have expected them to be delighted about the prospect of someone with first hand knowledge in power. However, as it turns out, while this may benefit the education system, parents of children with Down Syndrome and parents of children with Autism have different struggles. Here are a few statements emailed to me:

"Didn't really phase me, she might have some more sympathy toward developmentally delayed, but don't think it will make a difference in our lives. Downs and muscular dystrophy and cerebral palsey are all in the category of medical problem, that insurance companies cover. Autism is called behavioral, and most insurance companies don't cover treatment, leaving the parents to foot the bill if they want to get a good program going. I mean when they first diagnosed *** the psychologist gave us this big speel about how intense therapy for 40 hours a week was going to give him the best outcome but that kind of therapist was going to cost 30 to 70K per year, out of our pockets. We don't have that kind of money so we got to go through what free services we could get. Unless they are interested in health care reform, and lobbying to get the insurance co. to pitch in, it isn't going to matter."

"Children like Trig are a tiny group compared to autistic children. My daughter has never had even one in her special ed classes and she's 10 now. The numbers are like 1 in 150 for autism, 1 in 1000 for downs before age 40. Compared to when we were in school, where there were only 1 in 10,000 kids with autism. They need to start focusing all of their efforts on figuring out what is going on with the epidemic, and evaluating the vaccine safety and scheduling and coming up with some solutions for what they're going to do with all of these kids when they grow up and leave the school system. That was one of the only reasons I was pulling for Clinton, she was proposing $700 million a year for research and services directly to the autism community."

Sis just sent me a couple links with the note: "I'll have to wait and see what kind of advocacy she's offering, McCain has a good reference from his wife who was a SpEd teacher, Palin's too new to the SpEd community yet to really know anyway. Obama and Hillary were who the Autism groups were supporting."



http://www.barackobama.com/pdf/DisabilityPlanFactSheet.pdf

http://www.johnmccain.com/content/?guid=24dc9c37-e739-4aa3-8a88-ebae650a2f11


Well, there you have it, now at least I'm more informed.

Some of them were at least trying to be funny.

E!: Sarah Palin's Glasses... Why women want them, and where you can buy them.

USA Today - Will Gov. Sarah Palin's glasses start an eyewear trend?

Entertainment Tonight: Palin's speech beats out ratings for the American Idol finale.

Jimmy Kimmel (had to look that quote up to get it right): "And how are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She's got a four-month-old of her own, she's about to become a grandmother, and she's partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?"

Absolutely nothing to do with anything

My friend forwarded me an e-mail of stupid signs. Some of them I've seen before, but I had to repost in reminder of the good 'ol days when solving an anagram on site was the biggest rush you could get at three a.m. (they had more signs in the city).

It wasn't anyone I know, and I'm not promoting that it be repeated, but I did once see a good one driving past Cost Savers one day. It was an homage to South Park... if you notice they're careful to not put the extra letters of A, Y, and G on it anymore if they're promoting Big Al's pizza. Gotta love it.

Insomnia and tsunamis

Sleep eludes me. I've flipped past every news channel and absorbed as much as I want to hear. Everything from Nancy Grace's shrill voice (that invokes some carnal desire to shove a sock that has been living on a slimeliner's foot wrapped by mid-season X-tra Tuffs into her mouth) to news of David Duchovney's trip to rehab for sex addiction - yeah big surprise there. I've avoided pausing at the gaggling over poor B.P., I really truly feel for her... bad enough to have to face the music of consequence, but to be ripped to shreds on national media for nothing more that what brought a great portion of us into the world in the first place.

I did pause and watch the aftermath of Gustav, breathing a small sigh of relief that the storm weakened before the complete disaster repeated itself. I am curious now, however, whether or not evacuations will be as successful the next few times there is a spinner heading toward New Orleans, or if people eventually will become placated that level of destruction can't or won't happen again.

This leads me to start thinking about our own state of Kodiak placation. My generation was raised in the shadow of the '64 earthquake / tsunami, with the frightening tales freshly embedded within mealtime chatter. I know I'm not alone in my childhood nightmare of the sea coming to eat your house out from underneath you while you sleep. We even evacuated a few times in the 80s, which led me as an adult to purchase my home as far away from the shore to prevent that occurance, should it occur.

With all this deeply ingrained in my psyche, you'd think I'd be prepared ... or that I'd have confidence that our island would be truly prepared. I know too many people who live paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by... and I doubt they either have stockpiles, or alternate heating, or even a clue as to the disaster game plan.

Sure the city has the official Emergency Preparedness Guide that covers earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, chemical leaks (wow, did you know that each of the canneries on cannery row has enough ammonia to wipe out downtown?) ... and the Mirror used to annually produce a Disaster Preparedness special section. I'm certain people read these things, and think to themselves, I should get my disaster kit prepared... maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, month, year. I know I'm one of them.

So I propose this, with your extra special dividend this year, set aside just a few dollars and build up your kit. (Some ideas seen left from page 39). Keep in mind we are likely to be without power for quite a while if KEA gets drenched, and you should think about what you will do about heat, food, and communication. The schools disperse a plan within their admission packets, wouldn't be a bad idea to read that again. If I thought the influx at Taco Bell was a bit overwhelming, I can't imagine the already combat status parking lots filled with panicked parents.





Okay, I'm done with the gloom and doom and apocolyptic babble... I'm starting to sound like S.O., sans conspiracy theories. I'm about ready to force pop-culture tourettes on myself and start spitting out random 80s lyrics.

"That's great it starts with an earthquake,
birds and snakes and aeroplanes...
lenny bruce was not afraid,
eye of a hurricane listen to yourself churn..."

incoherently rambling...
I'll stop.

Exceeded expectations and Lamentations

I logged in to check on the blog on this quite quiet Labor Day after a weekend away from the machine. Quite surprising the discovery that my dear friend who I asked to please make me a spiffy banner for my boring old blog totally re-styled the page. Little "e" you are most talented, and I am blown away. Now I look like I've gone pro... even as my blog is infant and promises to be completely inane.

Even more surprising, the abrupt vacation of Art Vandalay... go to his blog and tell him popular opinion is - that he must stay, or at the very least, just pop in now and again. A reader for far longer than a writer, this blogger will miss his commentary.

Another item of note, congratulations to the all powerful Ish on your newfound fame - or infamy - with the Palin Vogue Cover hitting viral status. If I knew anyone in Italy, I would definitely score a copy of that paper for your brag book.

Also congrats to hot Sarah... apparently she is due to add Grandma to her list of titles. I don't really have an opinion on that one way or another, but at least Alaska's teens are being represented accurately... or not?

A fascinating turn of events, maybe politics are interesting after all

A little late on the commentary here, but work called and I had to make my rounds. Dang job interfering with my new-found blogging addiction.

People who know me, know me as an apathetic conservative liberal. Politics typically bore me to tears while listening to empty promises and puppets delivering unnamed speech writer's words. The often meaningless banter reminds me of eighth grade class president elections as seen on TV, promising free ice cream and longer recesses. (Our particular class in Kodiak was the epitome of disenfranchised youth, and therefore, the one kid who actually wanted the job, got it unopposed.)

An then we top it off with America's (and my own) obsession with reality TV, and media overkill - which leads to intensified negative campaigning and unnecessary closet skeleton extractions. I really don't care if as a teenager a candidate acted like a teenager, and I don't believe it is necessarily anyone's business viewing a public personality's personal dirty laundry any more than it is acceptable for paparazzi to snap pictures of Lindsay Lohan's crotch.

It all gets to be a bit much, information overload-wise, and it is difficult to find the true focus in our delusional quest for utopia. So normally, I choose to take off my glasses and live with the blur.

Today was interesting though, a seemingly brilliant chess move for the republican party with the choice of hot Sarah as running mate. To say the least, I am impressed. Regardless her lack of experience in foreign relations and blah blah blah investigation... it really was a great choice, especially to woo the Hillary supporters that were truly hoping to put a woman in office.

It is a breakthrough election in regards to prejudice, sexism and stereotypes. A novelty our parents would have never seen happen. This gives me hope for the daughter that she truly will be able to rise to whatever limit she desires without having to ride the shirttails of her future husband's career. Refreshing that we have entered into such a state of political correctness, that that diversity has become a prequalification.

My only curiosity as of now, with the splashes of family photos and campaign stills rolling all over the network news.... where's the littlest one? I suppose they wouldn't want to exploit the 'parents of a special-needs-child' factor, but it is a little odd that they have not included even a blanketed infant as part of the family. Possibly they were too busy to get a new family photo shoot lined up, but now with campaigning in the final throws maybe the picture will be completed.

It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?**

It has been eerily silent today. I suppose it could partly be because all of the noisiest were subdued in the wonderful world of mandatory free daycare from eight to three. Then top it off with it being the second day of elementary, the excitement factor hit it's buzzkill with a 6:45 a.m. wakeup call.

Primary anticipation is over, taco worship is waning ... everybody seems drained. So much so, that within a group of people everybody went completely silent and just listened to the mournful tsunami sirens ... and not one uttered the obligitory "It's Wednesday, 2 o'clock."

A good day for a few sturdy swigs and random channel surfing, I think I'll take myself up on that.


(**This used to be kid one's favorite movie quote. You win the super secret prize if you name the movie, and provide one other poignant phrase from the flick**).

Well, that was freakin' weird.

I was driving downtown, turning left onto Marine Way, and all of the sudden the light stopped blinking. It just held steady! I paused, and like a confused pup thinking "wtf," quizzically cocked my head to the side. And then, even stranger... the red light flicked off, and this green thing appeared with a left arrow underneath it.

I'm totally trippin'. Talk me down man... talk me down.

It's my recurring grand opening nightmare!

As much as the cheese-dripping ooey-gooey delectables taunt me during late night commercials, I cannot bring myself to do it. I cannot step foot into that eatery until the hype has subsided, and of course the line is less than 10 people out the door.

This has nothing to do with the fact that I have semi-autistic reactions to large groupings of people, and go into sensory meltdown when the din rises above acceptable decibles... it is stemmed from childhood trauma... i.e. Safeway's grand opening circa 1987.

Of course we had grocery stores here before, but it was as if there never had been. The entire town appeared and somehow all fit within the aisles. Elbow jutting elbows, the people morphing almost literally into cattle with shopping carts stocking up on insane amounts of produce.

I am not sure why, or how my best bud at the time and I even ended up in the facility, but once you entered it was a futile attempt to escape. We wiggled and wriggled and body surfed our way back to the deli-meat counter, where they had lobsters with their claws rubber-banded in a murky aquarium. We briefly discussed the mayhem that would be created by freeing the caged crustaceans among the crowd, but neither was courageous enough to touch the creepy things, so we opted out of that mischief.

When it was time to leave, having collected a few cohorts along the way and looping belts as safety tethers from losing each other into the black abyss of a line, we waited...

and waited ....

and waited ....

The livestock began mooing, their cages rattled and hooves squealed on the fresh waxed tile, and we were trapped within an inescapable B-movie horror. (Make that a D or E or suitible only for YouTube movie.)

Obviously somehow we did eventually make the exit, and survived physically unscathed, but the absurdity of the herd mentality of any Kodiakan grand opening was forever scarred into memory. So patience imbued, I will savor the flavors of the long-awaited Taco Bell another day.

****

On a side note, now that the previously withheld temptation has been quenched... what other inattainable treat will people beg to be flown in by people returning from Anchorage? Pizza Hut?

School... already?

But summer just started - and I was just getting used to not having those $400 per month fuel bills!

Game plan was to install a Toyo in our downstairs area and trim the consumption significantly down, but, as procrastination looms above me like a Sim's diamond, it hasn't even been purchased. Due to a boiler malfunction for the lower zone valve... last winter we existed with supplemental electric heat, which curiously was cheaper than fuel. Cheaper yes, but the "turn the lights off when you leave the room" that was drilled into my head by School House Rock-like commercials makes me feel wasteful for wantonly spinning the meter.

So I've been brainstorming... solar panels are a little spendy, and of course as we are not the land of many sun... wind energy would be optimal. It is only 500 bucks for a personal turbine, plus battery, plus mounting, plus shipping. Definitely a question for borough zoning laws, but it would be feasible for at least supplemental electricity. A family here had a real windmill here in the early 80s. It towered over their house on Spruce Cape road, although I have no idea how many kws it output, or what it actually did aside from spin and look pretty.

Pipe dream, I guess I'll go shop Spenard's for a Toyo, as I wonder why we don't have the option to go natural gas.

Company interference

Visitors are afoot, and a casting. It is one of the wonderful things about Kodiak in the summer. You get company upon company upon company. Everybody from old classmates, to family, to friends in fishing from the mainland... I could almost charge a B&B fare for our guest room, if it wasn't for all the silly taxes and extra fees involved.

I'm glad the weather held out for the fisherpeople, who have been from one end of the road to the other fishing for whatever they could fish for. The first trip out was a sightseeing adventure more than anything, saw whales breeching just 100 feet from the boat, also saw porpoises and chased puffins. The next trip they limited out on halibut, and even pulled in a good 100-pounder. Mill Bay Beach was a disappointment though, you could see them jumping in the bay, but not even one nibble - unless you count the little hermit crab we found in the tidepools.

Oh, and despite being overly cautious about bears in the woods... we managed to get a good haul of blueberries and salmonberries! So much better than last year.

Alternative Fuel would make a great band name.

Strange Brew 8/4

Faced with the option of losing my Blockbuster funds budget to the family fuel guzzler, yet again... or ride my mountain bike in the rain, what shall I do? Since I am inherently lazy and only equip for fairweather cycling, I opt car. It is a hungry little piggy too, seems every other day I'm at Petro-Express giving it a good drag off the nozzle.

This gets me to thinking about Alternative Fuel for automobiles. Biodiesel, Ethanol, Propane, Hydrogen, and Natural Gas are the hopefuls in the running. The gov has an interesting site here. Aside from the fact that few of the options are cheaper than regular petroleum (or remotely feasible for Alaska transportation), I doubt availablity will reach this island any time soon.

Sure I could have bought a hybrid, if I had waited another year to purchase the new car, but somehow I doubt in the five minutes it takes to get anywhere the battery would ever get charged, and I'd be running on fuel the whole time.

So it brings me back to the lack of personal choice I have in the matter... feed the beast, or deplete the o-zone with carbon emissions created by me breathing heavily on the front steps of my destination. Or better yet, not go anywhere. Yeah.

Yea rain!

It is a long held tradition here on the island of complaining about the weather regardless of atmospheric conditions. It is raining, we want the sun! It is snowing, we want the rain to wash the snow away... it is sunny, we want it to be overcast again because we don't own things like air conditioners.

To be realistic, the lament only is spurred on after a long repetitive meteorological event - and the wish for the sun to disappear for a bit is only out of sheer exhaustion. Living with torrential onslaughts more often than not, we Kodiakans have been conditioned, brainwashed, and obligated to make the most of any sunny day.

As a child, the sprinklers and slip'n'slides would be out in full force (my mom was kind enough to hook the hose up to the kitchen sink so we could have lukewarm water). Water balloons and squirt guns prompted battle royale as we ran around barefoot, immune to the stabbing of spruce needles on young foot flesh.

After a good stretch of above 65 heatwave, we'd hit the lake at Abercrombie ... just as it was almost tolerable to swim without generating a good case of hypothermia. (This activity also coincided with the ceremonial removing of tiny leeches from your legs if you decided to walk through the muck at the beach end).

Grown up now, the honey-do list overtakes the fun-things-to-do list. The sun comes out, aside from sweltering work conditions and an overwhelming desire to skip out on it, there is lawn mowing, fence building, painting, car washing, pressure washing the side of the house, gardening, clothes line building... all vieing for completion before the next downpour. Tack on to this the children and their incessant plea to wander to the beach for a bonfire, hot dogs and wading in the surf.... the sun is exhausting.

Which is why I appreciate the fog and mist that rolled in ever so gently last evening. If it manages to hold out, I might just be able to be my own couch potato self tonight.

Nostalgia Addendum...

Thank you Rants of the Scooby for reminding me of the Captain's Keg. The owner's daughter was very beautiful and one of the nicest people you'd ever met. Her name was Heidi, they moved and shut down shortly before or just following Mr. Forester's death.

I did remember a few more faded memories in the process.

• Beryl's Sweet Shop. (Commented this one back to myself... but figured it needed to be properly documented). Instead of waiting in line at the concessions stand inside the Orpheum, we would run around the corner to Beryl's and stock up on gummy coke bottles and fireballs. Rusty used to have a 25-cent popcorn vending machine as well. The sign that reads This is a 3B theatre... B-Good, B-Quiet, or B-Gone has been in existence since my earliest memories.
  
  
• How in the world could I forget Wodlinger's Drug & Photo! Upstairs was pre-Wal-mart, pre-Grand Slam toy heaven. I remember going with my parents and buying the Weeble Wobble Treehouse from there when I was approximately 3-and-a-half. (They made very good play hand-grenades later during our neighborhood fort wars.) Downstairs was the drugstore, candy aisle, and of course the magazine stand in the back. They had nudie mags. We sneaked peeks.
  
  
• There was a chicken buffet place called the Golden Skillet that served KFC-esque food that was on the opposite corner of the Subway building before Cross-Fox inhabited it.
  
  
• El Chicano's wasn't always downtown. This memory is completely fuzzy, but I'm thinking it was either inside the metal building where Joanie's Dog Groomer's is on Mill Bay... or in a building that has long since been torn down right next to it.
  
  
• The bakery mall was a wonderful place to hang. The *only* place for a person to aquire anything resembling real music was located on the left of the entrance. If you couldn't find it, the owner was more than willing to order it for you. I have a slight memory of comic books in that vicinity. There was an awesome deli that is where ElChicano's is now.
  
  
• Skip forward several years for a second on the mention of Deli's gone past. Mimi's Deli (KANA Wellness Center) was awesome. Her Rosemary Chicken Salad sandwich was inspired, that and a sampling of Quiche always made for a great lunch date. * now back to the even further past ...
  
• There was a feature article newspaper printed on 11x17" folded white paper called the Kadiak Times. I don't really remember much except some photographs by Roger Page, who later was accused of really bad things... but in my kindergarten years I made the front page sitting with our gym teacher.
  
  
• The KVOK logo had a graphic of a mouth for the letter O, and there were bumper stickers of that everywhere. The radio personality at the time was Keith Beaver. They had a wonderful program on called "Chicken Man". Come on, you know you want to say it... "Brooock Brooock Broooock... Chiiicken Maaaan...." I think I had a t-shirt. The radio station has gone through so many ownerships, I wonder if they still have the masters of that series. It was classic.
  
  
• When my parents finally signed us up for cable after only recieving the antennae'd version of RATNET (Channel 9), we got two channels: 2 and 4. They had Bugs Bunny & Roadrunner and the Flintstones on in the morning.
  
  
• Back to Baranof Park... (The track used to be all gravel!) I need to make a map of this to truly explain, but I don't have the patience to illustrate it. Where the ice rink is to the end of the skating area / tennis area was located a volleyball area, basketball hoops, and a couple of backboards for tennis practice or hand ball. On the other side was three tennis courts. We used to rollerskate the heck out of that area in our orange giant wheeled 70s disco-style skates... then later, skateboard it to death with our boards decorated with an obligatory DK and Misfits skull.
  
  On the playground side the only thing that still exists from back in the day, is the same Merry-Go-Round. I wonder if you touch it now and have any psychic vibes at all if you feel all of the children spun to the ground and run over by the kids pushing. There was a small section set aside for little kids on the left (near where the office is now), the baby swings, a small slide and a small half-sphere climbing toy was there. Out in front was the big swings, the tall slide, hanging bars, and monkey bars. Following back to the right there was a giant mirrory triangle thing with bars on the upper edges meant for climbing, then the merry-go-round, then the large barred jungle-gym that used to be up at the elementary school with the parallel bars and very unsturdy feeling sliding poles off the top of the monkey bars.
  
  Then there were metal teeter totters, a barred covered slide that was shaped like a witch, and in the middle of everything a giant yellow metal dome for climbing. There was a bunch of sawdust underneath it, as it was so tall... it disappeared fairly early though. I never climbed to the top, someone must have though.

Fading out here again as far as memory lane's paths criss-cross between the real and imagined.

You know you've been here too long....

Nostalgia kicked in watching pavement applied, and re-applied, and mourning trees that are being clearcut from our old "Outsider's" hangout. (Behind the high school... it the place where a pack of Kool and a sixer of Bud snagged from the parent's cooler were exchanged over testing the sound of new curse words burning off our tongues).

This little town sure has evolved in my lifetime here. I wonder how many people really remember:

• Main Elementary used to be where the Community Schools Offices are, and on the gravel playground near the building was a sandbox, one of those springy ride-on toys, a swingset, hanging bars and a jungle gym that was relocated to Baranof park, and then East Elementary (or they bought two).

• The Junior High gym had a stage and was the auditorium before there was an auditorium. The cafeteria above the gym (art room in the middle school) had an opening where you could look down onto the gym floor.

• East Addition park didn't exist. It was a swamp with a creek that ran through it with a culvert that ran underneath the street until it escaped into Potatopatch.

• The roads were mostly gravel... aside from downtown, the Aleutian Homes and Rezanof. Provided for maximum skiddage slamming the back breaks on my California Mongoose with yellow mag wheels and custom ergonomic grips purchased with lawnmower money from Elkay's bike shop (a small bike shop that was in a dug-out basement of a house on the other side of the park).
  
  
• The big bunker at the top of Fort Abercrombie was open, and you could run through and echo your voice while reading up on decades of spraypainted "I was here's".
  
  
• There was no Safeway, no McDonalds, no Pizza Hut... that area was all trees. (As well as the entire Woodless Acres development, and much of the property behind where Mill Bay Coffee is).
  
  
• Spenard's used to be where Warner is, and where Spenards is now used to be Waldo's supermarket a division of Krafts (downtown where Food For Less is now). In the entry way of Waldo's used to be a brown horse that you could put a dime in and it would give you a rocking ride. City Market was a mini-store where Mack's is now.
  
  
• We had a store called Mark-It-Foods. (Underneath where Total Interiors is now). For some reason they thought it would pass on the savings if they didn't have to price the product, so you were given a wax crayon and hand-wrote the price from the shelf onto your cans or cereal boxes or whatever.
  
  
• The hot place to go was Blairville Laser Station. I curse the Centipede that kicked off the beginning of my carpal tunnel syndrome.
  
  
• The Credit Union used to be a refurbished Dairy Queen before they tore it down and rebuilt it. I really miss Peanut Buster Parfaits.
  
  
• Beachcombers was a bar/nightclub (where Salvation Army is now). Before it moved into that building it was in a boat that was either washed ashore during the tsunami, or just permanently dry docked there.
  
  
• The post office used to be where the old KANA building was that is now replaced by the KNWR Visitor Center.
  

That is just the tip of the iceburg, I'm sure I will think of more that I should have added! Let me know if I missed anything!

Other acts of randomness

The squirrels in my backyard have jumped on the miniature species bandwagon. Two of our regular rascal's mini-me's appeared this morning rolling around on the back deck. If it wasn't in the midst of downpour, I could have caught a real picture instead of grabbing this one off the 'net. They are late this year too, last year the babies appeared in the beginning of June.

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We watched some Apocolyptic show on the History Channel and then the Berlin Speech this morning. My significant other, also known as S.O., is now convinced that Obama is the Anti-Christ and is leading us to Armageddon in 2012. (S.O. has many points to back that up, of which I will not qualify by speaking of). I on the other hand, truly appreciated his delivery, and he has some great speech writers. It was nice to listen to true discussion of global concerns not filled with the same "make no mistake"... blah blah blah droning on of empty incoherant phrases from the Bushmeister. No wonder I've always said for the most part, "politics bore me". At least this election season is nowhere near stagnant.

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According to HealthDay News, Soy is linked to male infertility. A half serving a day lowers sperm concentration. The theory is that isoflavones boost estrogen, and if you already are in a state of estrogen overproduction (obesity causes this) this tips the hormone scale and quarters your swimmers. Soy is in pretty much everything these days, just read any product label... and even though they say don't stop eating it, I wonder what affect it has on our children. Is this why our girls our hitting puberty at 8 now, and there is a major problem with man boobs in our country? I suppose it is still multi-factoral between diet, environmental issues, and our self-imploding genes. My only question now, how in the heck do vegans reproduce?

Who was Carl Coon? The answer...

Picture snagged from the KoKon.

I thought I had the answer to Kodiak Konfidential's query the other day about who Coon Field was named after. But, thinking about it, I wasn't certain whether I was meshing stories that were drilled into us as children warning of dangerous places to play in Kodiak. I thought it was the ice, as there have been a few that fell through in Lilly Lake. I was off a bit, but it was based on another parental warning I've personally had my butt smacked for getting too close to.

Out of extreme curiousity, I had to ask one of our esteemed pioneers. She tells me that Carl Coon was the adopted son of Louise and Merrill Coon. Merrill Coon owned a fuel company, was the president of the Chamber of Commerce and apparently the Mayor for a bit in the late 50s-early 60s. Carl died in an accident, falling off of a cliff at Fort Abercrombie. She said he must have played ball in that field, as it was named for him fairly early.

So there is your answer and my curiosity is quenched.

The new medians

I have to admit it, after balking about the lack of necessity for them to be installed in the first place the new medians downtown are kind of nice. Aesthetically, it makes the intersection look like a real city thoroughfare, not a random old Russian road meeting up with a cowpath turned road because the tidal wave washed the real one away. Not sure if they were planning on it, but if they plant grass in the center, it will surely brighten up the grey down there anyway.

Operationally, (with the lines being painted as I speak) they do the job of easing up on the confusion of what lane goes where, and I notice less of a chance of playing chicken with someone in the turn lanes. There is a bit of a confusion for the turn lane to enter the Food For Less parking lot, and curiosity how to get back to the Credit Union from that direction. This is only because I am a pure Kodiak driver, and really do not know road rules in the real world unless it was on MTV (sorry I know that was bad). I'm not sure how I even passed my drivers test when they started asking about lane changes and when you can and cannot cross the yellow lines. Back then, you were considered a safe driver if you were driving Mill Bay zigzagging from shoulder to shoulder the whole way to avoid the crevasses.

It is yet to be seen how well they shall fare in plowing season, whether they survive, or we end up having to send a few grader scoops to the shop to be straightened out, but yeah... they look pretty.

As far as having a traffic light installed there though, I really don't think we need one aside from everybody escaping downtown after the fireworks. Maybe one coming out of Safeway... or that intersection between Ole Johnson and Mill Bay Road where Ed Randolph gets to witness firsthand claims in the process.

Where are the bees?

We rarely go to the theater anymore. It has to be something special and something that my children sans attention spans can fixate on for more five minutes. Aside from some talking back to the screen, and several shhushes... our last trip to the Orpheum went well. We watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull, which in my opinion was just as good as Raiders. Slightly on the predictable side of things, but other than that a great flick.

The previews on that day had a promo for The Happening, M. Night Shamalamadamadang's lastest paranoid thriller. It starts out with all the bees leaving, and then apparently humankind begins to be eradicated. (Not too far off of all the dolphins leaving from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

I notice there are no bees here in Kodiak this year, well few I should say. There have been two that have managed to enter the screenless windows all summer, where any other year there are usually three or four a day buzzing around if you leave the window open for more than five minutes. Possibly our late winter killed them off? The salmonberries seem to have managed to fruit, and look to be a better crop than last year, but without the bees what was pollinating them?

Hmm. Things to ponder... do we have any entomologists out here?

***
Three seconds later I realize there was a news report on KMXT that kind of scooped and answered that question. It says there is no discernible drop in our native pollinators. There it is again the factual versus the anecdotal.

Might as well post something...

Realizing after I signed in to create the blog and wrote and deleted a few posts... I don't really have much to say (that would be of interest to anyone else, that is). I'm not much into politics, or sports, or a super-environmentalist-recyclist, or a rampant overachieving activist of any sort.

That stupid song "Do you have an opinion...." rattles through my brain. My answer, nope. I could talk your ear off about funny things my kids say, share mindless tidbits of random celebrity gossip. But to get down to a true opinion you have to be able to make up your mind about one thing or another... and usually I try to look at things from so many multiple angles, I get lost in my own contradictions.

So, there probably won't be anything of true interest on these pages, if I ever manage to find the time to post anything.