Misanthropic philanthrophy

That's my oxymoron for the day. After reading Kodiak Perspective's plug for the new library, and the ongoing conversations about a new high school, new borough offices, and new police and fire stations, I'm thinking we need one very rich philanthropist.

There is no denying each facility is in dire need of Extreme Makeover Public Building Edition, but without managing to vie Ty Pennington's attention away from disadvantaged families who actually need that help, who is going to want to pay for any of it? Certainly not the taxpayer watching their 401-k's fly all over the place, certainly not the average everyday homeowner who has to gouge their flesh to afford heating fuel. So, where are the old money wealthy misanthropes who donate wings of universities just to have their family name carved over the doorway when you need them, or is that just a urban legend that only appears on TV?

Maybe we need to be more innovative on where the money comes from. Yeah, let's get Bill Gates to build a new library, just so I can play with one of those giant screen touch computers like they had on SNL Weekend Update last night.

Lets get the Pitt-Jolie clan up here to green us up. Use star-power to qualify us for one of the goverment's extra special Green Building grants.

Put that annoying question mark man to work getting us every single government grant that is available, even if we have to implement Mimes 101 as a credited course.

Back in the really real world, the likelihood of any celebrity or gazillionaire taking even a notion of interest in us is faint. Comparatively, we aren't as bad off as thousands of other small communities sprinkled across the states. I could see how fund driving to get a brick or a tile engraved with your name on it installed in the new High School could generate some voluntary funds. (There are quite a few alumni out there to hit up). But without big money, or big debt, I don't see anything happening in the near future.

I'm still crossing my fingers the Gates option though, maybe we should carve his name on the backside of Pillar so when he zooms in using the spiffy Google Earth tool he'll see it and be impressed.