If you want to get plastered:

I realized a new drinking game this morning. Take a drink every time the new White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs says "Um" or "Ah". Poor guy would have you under the table in no time flat. Not that I could be masterful at that job, or have any interest in public speaking whatsoever, but when you get your focus stuck on an Umanaher it seems to take over the ability to actually hear what they are saying.

Sounds like time for Toastmasters!

Umanaher : (noun) A person who pauses between thoughts, and sometimes mid-sentence, during public speaking with the vocalization sounds of um (UH-MMM) or ah (AWE).

Nope... didn't drop off the face of the earth.

Pretty darn near though. Since GCI was nice and bumped my cable package to include the 100s channels, I've been sucked into the vortex - a conductor waving my baton at seemingly infinite channel selections. I haven't exactly been able to escape.

What have I paused on lately? I've expanded my vocabulary for hypochondria by watching Mystery diagnosis and anything on Discovery Health, and also been trapped by the Green Channel, the Science Channel, another History Channel, MTV2, among a glut of reality TV garbage and guilty pleasures.

Yes, I saw part of American Idol, pretending to be under duress. Secretly I enjoy watching the delusion of American society paraded so fanatically, but don't tell anyone. I will be mocked until the cows come home, and considering we have a no livestock rule in town, that will be a very very long time.

I also caught a repeat of South Park the other day, the one about the election. I truly admire the guys who created that show for their ability to come up with some of the most absurd plotlines that have a valid political statement. Palin was awesome as the one of the henchmen of a plot to steal the Hope diamond, I loved that her accent was switched to British when she was out of public eye, plus they had her updo illustrated perfectly. They pegged McCain's likeness, but Obama's characature was a little strange, he looked like a cross between Bill Cosby and Count Chocula.

Yeah, I live an exciting life. Been a little more boring since they banned myspace, facebook, and youtube at work... I just realized I could still login in here, so maybe I'll be back sooner than later.