Feelin' Halloweenie?

Alright, I'm done bah humbugging, for those thinking I was being a downer about all Hallows Eve. Kidlings are strutting their costumed selves proudly at school right now, getting hopped up on cupcakes and juice. We're prepping to wander downtown and catch a glimpse of some more Kodiak creativity after 3:30, then they'll be romping up and down the streets collecting candy for me. (There better be plenty of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or else).

Been entertained already today with an array of Presidential candidates, I met Obama, Hillary Clinton, and someone who looked like Gerald Ford. (I think he was supposed to be McCain though.) The kiddos seemed festive with a horde of Star Wars Clones, and a bunch of Hannah Montana clones. There were some awesome hand-made costumes parading too. Later, I'll be dressed as Darth Maul, which might give me away, but I'm guessing there are a couple other people in that outfit as well.

So happy Halloween, and Dia De Los Muerto (tomorrow & Sunday)! Hopefully everybody stays safe, no one eggs my car this year, and the bears stay nestled in their dens for the dark evening. I wonder if they are looking forward to Daylight Savings Time too?

Prognostications for Media-hypage

We still have until Tuesday before the media men drift into complete mayhem, flashes of it have been appearing here and there, but I'm getting the feeling the brunt of it is going to occur Tuesday night and follow through January. Oh, and it is going to get crazy. Journalists must just live for events like this, unless you are Geraldo Rivera, and you live to... well, huh, does he even qualify as a journalist?

The race being nowhere close to landslide in either direction according to whatever one thousand people the pollsters have queried, I'm guessing there is going to be repeat of "Recount 2000 - The Hanging Chad" albeit an electronic version. Conspiracy theories are already swirling the mainstream about voter fraud, touchscreen screens requiring mid-vote recalibration to keep them from flipping your entire ticket, dead people casting ballots from their graves, and goldfish receiving voter registration cards.

It has been eight years, wasn't there a big hoopla about getting the election system to have an actual 'system' and accountability for it? Maybe as usual I wasn't paying attention.

I think American Idol has shown the truth in voting. Which means I'm not so sure that any given group of Americans *can* pick the overall most qualified person. (At least within the group of people who would vote for American Idol, who probably won't vote in the election because you can't text it to Ryan Seacrest.) It all comes down to the popular vote, which will vary depending on what genre of music you get your groove on to. How many people have won and tanked on the charts, versus runner ups being the true stars? And then there are years where no one of significance is voted to the top, so you are stuck with choosing between a Douche-bag and a **it Sandwich for a mascot (South Park).

Ah well, I'll sit back and hope for the best I guess... and hope that people vote absentee so they have a paper ballot if in a city that has those tweaky voter machines.

Misanthropic philanthrophy

That's my oxymoron for the day. After reading Kodiak Perspective's plug for the new library, and the ongoing conversations about a new high school, new borough offices, and new police and fire stations, I'm thinking we need one very rich philanthropist.

There is no denying each facility is in dire need of Extreme Makeover Public Building Edition, but without managing to vie Ty Pennington's attention away from disadvantaged families who actually need that help, who is going to want to pay for any of it? Certainly not the taxpayer watching their 401-k's fly all over the place, certainly not the average everyday homeowner who has to gouge their flesh to afford heating fuel. So, where are the old money wealthy misanthropes who donate wings of universities just to have their family name carved over the doorway when you need them, or is that just a urban legend that only appears on TV?

Maybe we need to be more innovative on where the money comes from. Yeah, let's get Bill Gates to build a new library, just so I can play with one of those giant screen touch computers like they had on SNL Weekend Update last night.

Lets get the Pitt-Jolie clan up here to green us up. Use star-power to qualify us for one of the goverment's extra special Green Building grants.

Put that annoying question mark man to work getting us every single government grant that is available, even if we have to implement Mimes 101 as a credited course.

Back in the really real world, the likelihood of any celebrity or gazillionaire taking even a notion of interest in us is faint. Comparatively, we aren't as bad off as thousands of other small communities sprinkled across the states. I could see how fund driving to get a brick or a tile engraved with your name on it installed in the new High School could generate some voluntary funds. (There are quite a few alumni out there to hit up). But without big money, or big debt, I don't see anything happening in the near future.

I'm still crossing my fingers the Gates option though, maybe we should carve his name on the backside of Pillar so when he zooms in using the spiffy Google Earth tool he'll see it and be impressed.

The end is here.

Looks from that white stuff that coated my lawn this morning our Springsummerfall has finally taken the last step into our second season of Alternating Frozen Slushdom. Somewhat a relief, as things are easier to accept when you are in the midst of them, while the anticipation preceding irrepressibly lingers.

I wandered my chilled bones out to the shed this morning to ready my path-carving acoutriments, and lo-and-behold, someone has absconded my snow shovel. Granted the thief is likely under four feet tall, and its whereabouts are probably in the proximity of the neighborhood tree fort... snow shovel shopping just adds one more thing to my capped to-do list.

If I hadn't sold our antique four-wheeler a few years back, I think I would have invested some funds in the snow-plow attachment. It would be nice to pull a good Tim Taylor man-roar and put some decent hps behind the chore. Everything is better when you get to whip brodies in your front lawn eh?

Also nearing is the end of political season, thank dog. The daily countdown is brinking on single digits, and although my interest had waned in the preceding month or so due to overload - I suppose I'll flip more slowly past CNN for a bit to watch the finale unfold. (Not that Jon Stewart hasn't enlighted me on anything of importance.) I am having a hard time figuring out why the heck this "Joe the Plumber" guy is getting such an emphatic 15 minutes. Does anyone have an answer for that? I realize that just by mentioning it I've extended it a few more moments. Possibly I should have abbreviated that thought, and given Vapid Paris a plug instead.

Back to the mundane grind, makes me wish I was still in elementary sitting back watching cartoons in my jams on these extra days off. I could a use good Mystery Machine Marathon about now... "and I could have gotten away with it if it weren't for those darn kids."

Tomorrow's Alaska Day, good thing I had the day off anyway.

Yet another holiday that I'm not sure of what spurred it on. Good thing for Wikipedia, or I would completely be shaming my Alaska history teacher (I think it was Mrs. Selby). I may not remember these facts, but I'm a heck of a Googler. I always thought Alaska Day was commemorating when we finally became a state, regardless of the shipping companies' ideas that we *are* still a foreign country. But no, it was when we officially became a territory, Seward's Day marks the day the deal was struck with Russia. Big goings on in Sitka, parades and flag raising, be a good time to visit there... like Crab Fest with fewer people you recognize, but surprisingly more that you do.

Alaska Day is a legal holiday in the U.S. state of Alaska, observed on October 18. It is the anniversary of the formal transfer of the Territory of Alaska from Russia to the United States which took place at a flag-raising ceremony at Fort Sitka on October 18, 1867.

Alaska Day is legally observed statewide, and is a paid holiday for State of Alaska employees. The official celebration is held in Sitka, where schools release students early, many businesses close for the day, and events such as a parade and reenactment of the flag raising are held.

It should not be confused with Seward's Day, the last Monday in March which marks the signing of the treaty for the Alaska Purchase in which the U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia on March 30, 1867.

Although the territory was sold to the U.S. in March, it was not until the 18th of October that year that the Commissioners arrived in Sitka and the formal transfer was arranged. The original ceremony included 250 uniformed U.S. soldiers, who marched to the Governor's house in Sitka at "Castle Hill", where the transfer was made. It was here that the Russian troops lowered the Russian flag and the U.S. flag was raised.

The official account of the affair as presented by General Lovell Rousseau to Secretary of State William H. Seward continues: "... The troops being promptly formed, were, at precisely half past three o'clock, brought to a 'present arms', the signal given to the Ossipee... which was to fire the salute, and the ceremony was begun by lowering the Russian flag... The United States flag... was properly attached and began its ascent, hoisted by my private secretary [and son], George Lovell Rousseau, and again salutes were fired as before, the Russian water battery leading off. The flag was so hoisted that in the instant it reached its place the report of the big gun of the Ossipee reverberated from the mountains around... Captain Pestchouroff stepped up to me and said, 'General Rousseau, by authority from his Majesty the Emperor of Russia, I transfer to the United States the Territory of Alaska' and in a few words I acknowledged the acceptance of the transfer, and the ceremony was at an end."

(From Wikipedia.)

Off in fantasy land, I wonder what it would be like here if it was still Russia. Somehow I doubt my family would have immigrated north had that been the case. (Would have had to actually get passports... yeah, so much for witness protection.) Even better curiosity would be if Shelikof and his men never wandered this way in the first place, would Alaska be a completely native country?

At least Alaska Day makes more sense than Columbus Day, a day to honor a conqueror and enslaver of innocent tribes. I've got to say, the level of human corruption these days isn't a drop in the barrel to some of the acts that have been cannonized throughout history.

Kodiak faces invade my channel surfing

I missed the actual commercial, but in my tradition of hopping channels at a rate that usually gets be banned from control of the remote, someone caught my eye. An interesting lady with a decorated pill-box style hat that looked awful familiar... I thought to myself, "wow, she has a double?" and flipped back a few stations. By then Petal is closing out the segment. No double, just our local flavor slathering themselves in Vaseline.

Never will I get used to Kodiakans appearing on any channel but public access. It doesn't matter if it is Deadliest Catcher's or that Minivan commercial the Sandin family appeared in. It still feels weird, like when a window becomes a mirror, and instead of looking out, you're looking at a self you don't quite recognize.

It has been happening incrementally more these days too. One benefit is the silly credit card companies are starting to realize AK stands for Alaska, not Arkansas.

I need help! What would be the completed list of Kodiak filmings that have gone cable? I can only think of a few right now in no certain order, and of course without real titles because my memory isn't that great.

1. Asians in Alaska with Pat Morita
2. National Geographic - Bears (been a few of those, I've blurred together)
3. Kodiak Crab Festival (Food Network)
4. Deadliest Catch
5. Cops (Before TC was chief)
6. The aforementioned Sandin Minivan commercial
7. Russian/American history with Lydia Black

Okay someone finish for me.

Nilapalin - repost, with comment

From Ish: This automated Sarah Barracuda interview response generator will sate even the hungriest of needs.

I asked about the economy... and found a new term for the 'Cuda's public speaking method: It's a Palindrone! Characterized as circular talk, where backwards or forwards it doesn't make a lick of sense youbetcha.

Q: How will you fix the economy?

A: Our economy and putting it back on the table. I think that I just gave you. But, again, we've got to get people to understand what he's been talking about the healthcare reform that we've got to make sure that these weapons of mass destruction, that nuclear weapons are not given to those hands of Ahmadinejad, not that he would use them, but that he would allow terrorists to be allowed in their country and their allies, including us, all of our nation, especially with homeowners. It's just right over the border. It is that we send those out to make sure that those abuses stop.

Scientific observations of the northern female biped

As the first flakes of winter drop down upon us, and we watch climatic temperatures drop below zero degrees centigrade, this curious scientist finds an interesting hidden behavior displayed in certain sub-species of the Northern Female Biped.

Discovered some time ago, the theorem in place it has finally come to fruition in my hypothesis that ceremonial garb called "pant-suits" have alternate usage.

We come upon the unwitting female midsummer, fashioned in cotton clothing with legs that have been hemmed to variant heights. She bares her leg flesh in the sunlight, as a form of camouflage from heckling predators. A female un-sunned receives taunting from males and females alike in the form of statements such as "ahh, you blinded me!" or "I think I need some sun glasses, your legs are glowing".

Finally by summer's end, leg skin at a flattering, non-flourescent level... a certain branch of the species enters into a metamorphasis growing their winter coat. Their ceremonial garb is exchanged for denim fabric, flannel lined khakis, and the obligatory 'pant-suit'. It has been noticed this sub-species is within the collection that have a consistant male in proximity. Single or hunting females seem to not require as much insulation.

At first glance the observation of extra clothing was passed off as a neccesity for maintaining core body temperature, however, it has a dual purpose as a coverup for ritual grooming practices belayed during the winter months. The surprising detail: a sub-species of Northern Female Biped does not follow the tribal rules, and they allow their legs to keep fur for the arctic chill.

There are some deviances from this behavior, the fur is removed for special occasions where a thin sheer fabric made of sythetic fibre is required to be awkwardly slithered into like a skinglaze. Visits to indoor group watering holes where most clothing is removed also require bare skin.

Should the Northern Male Biped wander into his personal waterhole and find it drained with a layer of black dark gritty substance upon a non-special occasion, this denotes red-bottomosity- much like the red bottom of the female baboon, flashing to show it's readiness to mate. (Curious to note, the Northern Male Biped has a similar mating ritual that involves standing under hot water and lathering a mass of soap upon himself).

With this theorum of non-shavence being proven upon the observed selection, one can draw the conclusion that it is not an isolated behavior. Brings me to the next question, how many pant-suit wearing Northern Female Bipeds choose their apparel by grooming or lack thereof; and is this why Sarah Palin chooses that attire on any given day?

That is part of being a scientist, answering questions... to discover more questions. Tune into the next segment regarding Northern Male Bipeds within winter seasons. It should be an enlightening adventure.

Now I'm blogging in my sleep.

I dreamed that I blogged about a dream where Obama ditched his VP for Palin because Biden wasn't "do-able". My unconscious is even weirder than I am. Now that I've actualized the blogging part of that dream, I realize the lesson in that is don't fall asleep with the TV tuned to CNN.

I was halfway afraid I'd sleep-blogged, anybody ever done that before?

How the heck did it get to be October?

With the Wal-Mart seasonal shelves stashed with all sorts of interesting animatrons with light sensors and buttons that just beg to be triggered, I always feel the initial impending doom of autumn. I then am somewhat comforted by the fact that there still is time - because they show up the day after last-minute school shopping. (It must be hell for the employees having to listen to the moans and groans and screams all day.)

About midway through the month, besides my baseline aversion to candy corn, I'm already over the halloween hoopla, having to wander down that aisle each visit and listen to my beloved Eye-Wants tag everything like some bizzare-ly choreographed industrial music. It would make a good horror movie soundtrack, I'm sure - scares me just thinking S.O. might actually buy something. The way the Eye-Wants are with the fun of repetitive noises, the batteries would somehow just mysteriously "die", while they were sleeping, and "I just don't know why that keeps happening." (I have a secret noisy toy silencing kit, shhh.)

So now it really is October, an eyeblink away from snow and frozen windshields. I really wish I'd invested in an autostart button on my ride... that way I can sit in the toasty alcove sipping coffee and watching the defrost take all of the work out of chipping a small driving window out of the glaze. Oh well, back to bulky jackets and windbit ears... slushy feet and stinging sleet. If Wal-Mart can start worring us about things so early, I might as well give in too.